


Death's Bureaucracy

by scarecrowstories



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-16
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2020-03-06 03:18:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18842539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarecrowstories/pseuds/scarecrowstories
Summary: Barry and Lup talk shop with Kravitz after their first mission as Reapers. Kravitz can tell they're going to get along just fine.





	Death's Bureaucracy

**Author's Note:**

> This was requested by YellowMagicalGirl who asked for interactions between Krav & Barry and/or Lup! I love the idea of Kravitz gently teasing them because he's awkward about social things and also he knows how important the two of them are to Taako. So he's trying his best.
> 
> Hit a fella up with those umami requests, y'all!

"Hey, great job saving out butts back there, dude," Lup said, clapping Kravitz on the shoulder. 

"No prob, happy to help," he answered, trying to hide his concern. Lup and Barry had just completed their first mission as Reapers, and so until the Raven Queen was satisfied he was to accompany them on any assignments they received. Training new recruits wasn't something that happened frequently, but even so this case was an exception. If anything happened to them, he knew Taako would be absolutely ruined.

"Seriously, though, I haven't seen necromancers that strong in this reality," Barry admitted with an awkward laugh. "This is kind of my specialty and, like, that was some fucked up stuff."

Kravitz was still getting used to befriending someone like Barry who on any other day would have been arrested by him immediately. "Yeah, I'll admit, it's rare that we get anybody so ambitious about it over here. The occasional lich is really as bad as it tends to get, and even then that's usually pretty easy for a trained Reaper to handle."

"Oh, I dunno, I'd like to think we're worth a little more trouble than that," Lup joked, winking at the other two who chuckled. "What's next on our agenda for the day, bone boy?"

He ignored the fact that she had clearly picked up a nickname for him from Taako. "I hate to say this, but it's paperwork. Lots and lots of paperwork. Time isn't much of an issue since it's not like we're paid hourly.If you can imagine it, there's probably a ten page form for it."

Barry nodded, looking exhausted at the prospect, but Lup groaned loudly. "Ugh, that's the pits, who the hell is even gonna read all that?"

"Honestly? Probably nobody. But we need to have thorough records of everything, since, y'know, we're responsible for bringing a lot of bad people to justice. It's mostly legalese that you can skip over. Sign here, initial there, check off the appropriate boxes. That sort of stuff." Kravitz leads them through the halls of the Raven Queen's palace to where the various offices are located, bringing the two of them into the records room first.

"Holy-- Okay, wow, how far back does this go?" Barry asked, incredulous. The ceiling must have been at least fifty feet up, every wall lined with filing cabinets that reached to the very top. There were rows upon rows of them being navigated by a handful of flustered employees.

Kravitz shrugged. "No idea. Their job over here is to sort any paperwork we submit once it's been approved by management. I guess you could say I'm a step below that, something of a supervisor?"

Lup let out a low whistle as her eyes darted around the room, following a particularly frazzled looking woman carrying a stack of papers that threatened to topple. "And how do you wind up a paper-pusher? Is that your typical entry level gig and we just got lucky because of how cool we are?"

A brief pause.

"Kravitz. It's because we're so awesome, isn't it?"

Still no response.

"No fucking way! So you started here too?" Lup was stifling laughter at the thought of Kravitz running to and fro with boxes of forms and swearing under his breath.

"Actually, no," Kravitz admitted. He closed the door to the records room and continued leading them down the hall to the next area: the resource library. "I'm one of the oldest Reapers still around. This used to be a much smaller operation back in my day. I think there were maybe five of us in total when I arrived? Two of them are in management now, so they don't see the field anymore, and the other two…"

He opened the door to the resource library, which looked exactly as they had expected. Books in languages the living world no longer knew, maps of everywhere and everywhen in Faerun, and a dozen or so huge tables for them to work at. 

"You're drooling, Barry," Lup teased, seeing how eagerly he was eyeing the massive shelves. "So, Krav, Reapers can retire? Or are you implying they died?"

"Both. These two in particular had simply decided that when the Raven Queen was ready to release them from her service that they would prefer to move on to the afterlife. Some folks here do that after getting a couple of extra centuries to roam among the living in exchange for office work." He lifted a finger to his lips to signal that they were to stay quiet and led them across the library to a small room at the back, its door shut. On it was a sign that simply said "out to lunch."

"Guess we'll have to meet the librarian later," Barry whispered with a shrug. "But back to what you said: Reapers can die again?"

As they walked back across the library, Kravitz kept his voice as low as possible. "Technically, yes. It's really rare because of how hard it is to do, but I wouldn't worry about it anyway."

"Yeah? Why's that?" Barry asked.

Kravitz flashed them a smile, closing the library doors behind them. "Because of how awesome you two are, of course." When they both laughed, Kravitz felt joy bubble up in his undead heart. He could already tell they were going to get along spectacularly.


End file.
